Assimilation on the horizon

My interview went well for this job. Simple questions were asked as to my education and other activities. Guyana is 3^rd world in economics but definitely not in education. We don’t go to school from 7am till 6pm to learn nothing. After I passed the education check next came the personal questions. I had introduced myself as “Aleea, pronounced phonetically and she still had trouble saying it.” So I told her, the interviewer Jane Johnson, that she could just call me Ally for short. During the interview Jane asked me how old I was and I noted I was “twenteh-five” I suppose at that point she heard my “accent” with numbers.

Daily Routine

I am a morning person so waking up at 5am is not that hard for me. Working all the way in 42^nd and Lexington means I have to take the number 5 train at 7am to not be late for work. It’s the first winter I spent in America and oh shux does it get cold. I slept with flannel pajamas and a sweat shirt because the heat is kept low to save money. I wake up in time for fajr prayer then do my routine in the morning of showering, dressing with all 3 layers, and then heading out to the subway about 5 blocks from home.

subway map

Aging

I have mixed feelings about my birthday now. I know in America it is not that bad to be twenty-five and single, but oh my, is it bad for my family and me. My grandma would always say “at your age, I had so and so kids already…and I knew to make roti,” I don’t want to marry just anyone they choose for me, and I don’t want to cook roti and curry alone. I like eating burgers and pizza. My co-workers could always smell my food all down the hallway when I heat it up in the microwave. It must be Aleea eating lunch at this time. But I probably am getting a bit old and do need to find someone soon. All my friends are getting married back home and don’t want them to think something is wrong with me. It might be best that I just go back home this summer and find someone. I got my residency for two years now then I could just sponsor my “future” husband to come over.

The Move

The move over wasn’t that bad. I said goodbye to my friends and family and with 2 suitcases left for America. These two suitcases carried all my belongings that I needed to start my new life. I had family over there that would meet me at the airport and I could stay by until I “catch myself” my nani(grandmother) would say. I was finally going to be number one. Meaning I was leaving the 3rd world Guyana for the prosperous country of America. While we in the 3rd world are struggling for some energy to light our houses, Americans are seeing how we can use this energy to build destructive devices. First thing my uncle and aunt said when I was settled after taking a shower with hot water without having to put on a generator is “yuh betta try find a job quick, don’t stop looking, is not easy here.” This was the first shock to reality that in order to be at the top I had to work. Sleep would be good that night though, dreaming of all the fun to come tomorrow.

Guyana Flag

Juma

Standing for prayer

This Friday was an array of all food I had never seen before. This thing called humus tastes so good, this one Middle Eastern woman told me to try it. At Masjid for juma in Guyana everyone just eats the same food because we are all the same type of muslims. Here at this mosque, I don’t even know if I could pronounce some of the places these people come from. For dessert these East Indians had this ice-cream like Popsicle called kulfi that is by far the best thing I’ve ever tasted. At prayer I know I am supposed to only look down at the carpet, but for some reason I feel I am praying wrong. I see other people keeping their hands to their sides and not crossed at the chest. I wonder what that is about. I grew up keeping my hands crossed. Then I see some girls raising their hands to their ears after ruku, I have never done that before too. Maybe I should just do it because I feel people might think I don’t know how to pray.

Resp to ryan’s blog

Wow!

I loved all the imagery used in this piece. It was really good. From the language used I got the feeling of despair and just wanting of this life to end so one can move on. Just fed up and tired of the cards one is dealt but will continue to play it until time to move on. I think the description of the body for example with the branding and the description of Valencia was one that is grounded is an exact description of the carving and the fatness of Valencia. Also the genuine feeling of disgust when ryan noted about the “stabbing” of the eyes. My eyes squirm when I read that statement. When reading the book I also noted the part where Billy is sleeping and he notices the horses and agony. Then he noted that if he was to only recount the good memories he would just have gone and continue sleeping. When you sleep all your troubles cease to exist and when you awake you are hit with them all. Billy every time he closes his eyes though he seems to be reliving some different times in his life that serve as sorrowful reminders of his youth that was wasted in war and what he must go through now because of it.

Response to Half Breed

When I noticed the title the first thing that popped into my mind was dogs. My boss at my job is in love with dogs and just recently bought a so called “pure” one. She noted though that it was really cheap so how pure could it be. This is funny because being a half-breed or of mixed culture is very hard to identify with a certain group, and even in some societies of people not worth as much if one is not pure of a certain ethnicity. This mixed breed in many cultures as a result is a minority. I believe it is looked down upon also in many cultures just because parents foreshadow the hardship their children might face when in school such as getting asked questions about what are you, or you look different. It is somewhat easier though when being raised of mix cultures in American society because it is more open.

Life (resp6)

The rain was pouring and seemed that there was no end in sight. We were being hit by all sorts of firearms from all sides, we were about to surrender though. Us Americans would surrender and allowed to live. The most enduring for me as one of the older Colonels was to see all the young dead faces around in the dirt. We had surrender to save our lives for what little time left that we had. Maybe on the train right to the prisoners’ camp we would be able to write our goodbye letters and any special last words to our families to leave with some special character that would survive this. The train ride was excruciating pain with disgusting smells hitting you all at once, some of green, molded food, mixed with the excrements and the smell of blood that was like paint on the train floors. Being a school teacher this would compare to seeing a child not being able to read at the age of high school. Where will this train lead us…

“I don’t know if I can handle dad anymore” said Barbara, “it is just too stressful and I really have to worry about other things.” “Don’t say that,” Robert said, “dad has been there for us through everything.” All the recent articles and problems with the office were causing Barbra a bit of stress that she just couldn’t handle. She could not deal with the office and running her house. The thought of losing her dad though was just too much to handle. He just seemed so calm about life like he knew everything he wanted to and was satisfied. The husband was not so happy about the little attention that he was getting and Billy was becoming a problem to handle, but he knew he was all that was left for Barbara. Robert could be lost at any moment out where he was being a Green Beret and all. So how am I supposed to deal with this now…

I am pregnant and all alone here. In this little glass case where everyone can just have all the looks they want at me. Every movement I do, I just wish I had someone to talk to other than this man. I use to be so famous not a person that would settle down and have a kid. Living the life of any star, all the clothes, jewelry, and men I wanted. Now look where I am, feeling so old and so big! I am accustomed to being watched naked but not big and naked; I don’t even feel like myself. I still have more time before I need to have a kid; I am too young for these responsibilities. I don’t even know this man, he is sincere and kind but what type of place is this to raise a child. We are like animals in a circus or some sort of science project being reared to be studied. The child will have no one to befriend, this environment is just not right. What will happen now…

Slaughter House Five

Use of the Latrine

The words used in Slaughter House Five at times seemed so calm for the events that was being described. The most shocking to me was the run on of “So it goes.” There was no pause to acknowledge death just keep going with life. The idea of that people do not die but will exist in the past, present and future according to the Tramalfadorians was interesting. It seemed like the Earthlings worry about everything especially death when there was no such thing to the Tramalfadorians. Especially the death noted in the book of the young, the babies. I feel like Vonnegut was trying to get the issue of fear of not being able to live a full life because of this war. That many people were dying and wouldn’t be able to experience life. For example while in the Dresdon camp the school teacher is talking with a British soldier and notes that they are about similar ages and both have maturity and experience, both things that the young soldiers lack. Vonnegut also uses repetition to make a scene more clearly for example each time he describes Billy’s walk he states its bobbing “up and down, up and down” this makes the scene more imaginable to me. Also in many of the scenes images or pieces of belongs relate back to other scenes for example with the division of line between British and American something Billy noted he already was accustomed to from childhood. Another is the locket that Montana wore that had the inscription of the same words that Billy hung in his office. The image of the British using latrines also stuck out to me a lot. Just because in the movie of Slumdog Millionaire that was probably the funniest/ grossest scene to me, so I could just imagine the shock and amazement the British must have been at looking at the Americans.

“Mystory” proposal

1.      Experience of a particular identity: Religion: with me being Muslim

2.      Issue of not only being of the faith of Islam which a lot of people have the general consensus opinion about, but more importantly my identity as a Islamic woman.  Importance in family because all the women in Islam are viewed one way not many people met or know about Caribbean Islamic women and how they act or what they believe in. This is important because my family is Caribbean and Muslim which is a rare combination. I don’t like to be classified as the other “Muslims” but we each have our own experience that we bring and take from the religion.

3.      The popular opinion is that Islamic women all are covered from head to toe, they are quiet and soft spoken. Most people even think they don’t go to school or have no education and just get married and make babies. This is because people think the religion forces women to always obey the “men” in the relationship.

4.      The argumentative approach would be that not all women are like this that  since the world is more modern now that women are voicing more opinions and being heard. Also that women are going to school and becoming educated. But the affective/experience of living through this is that this change occurred long ago not just now in this modern times. For example my mother doesn’t cover herself completely nor does she wear the head scarf, she is modern wearing “American” clothes, but  she is Muslim. Which is strange to a lot of people because not only does she wear American clothes has two daughters that go to university that she raised not very “conservative” as the consensus opinion but also we have this “accent” or dialect of how we talk that people wouldn’t characterize us as Muslim so we don’t 100% fit in.

5.      When you go to many Caribbean run mosques or events or meet other fellow Muslims that are scholars and they sound just the same as the “regular”/ “typical” muslims many people are amazed and asked where did they come from and are even surprised. Muslim women teaching in schools for example that can pray so well and many people are surprised. Or even for example me a Muslim liking music and loving to dance. Dancing which someone would definitely not characterize as a “muslim” thing to do.

6.      C-lists of some consensus opinion of how girls of my religion are technically or part of this homogenized view supposed to act

A-    Genuine and sincere affections on how this affects how I act; anecdotes from home stories on growing up as a muslim in the Caribbean; use of language or dialect to make it paradoxical.

7.      (thinking still)

 8. Sometimes when getting into the issue of who I really am I might start to discuss how I might fit more into this doxa because doxa is consensus opinion and might be easier to just go along that diverge